Locking myself in a deep, dark closet
And I'm don't know when I'm coming out. You guys really had a field day with my previous two posts, and I don't want to be around when you sink your claws in this one. So I guess you can add spineless and cowardly to my resume.When friends and family talk about me to me, they always tell me about how I struggle. It's never "look what you accomplished" but "you struggled to become better." I can't deny that I have struggled in the past. When I was a little girl, I had a stutter. I had to go to speech therapy for many years to correct it. I would like to say all the kids were nice to me, but they weren't. I got bullied in the 6th grade for having a stutter.
As if having a stutter wasn't enough, I've always been the gawky, awkward English geek. Between both of those things, I've never been able to make friends easily. Oh, every now and then, people turn around and listen to me. Think I have a great insight or idea, but most times, I've been marked as the outsider. And treated as such.
I don't like to be in situations where I'm reminded of the fact that I'm that different from the rest of the crowd. You say fanvidding is a hobby, and just for fun. If it is then, then why are you guys constantly saying "I think you're struggling and need a little help"?[Well, you don't say that, you say I have "potential."] If it's a hobby, I don't want to made to feel I'm a failure at even doing something fun.
Which isn't to say I'm against constructive critique. I really loved Lolilie's BlueSalad Award review. She said "you're good at this and this and this, but you go way overboard with zooms." At first I thought maybe it was just a matter of the aspect ratio being off and therefore making the zooming more noticable, but having checked out my most recent 3 videos ["Princess Bride Trailer Tudors Style, Mr. Darcy's Prayer, Lovestoned: Dick Avery Is...], I've had to acknowledge that she is right and am working on being more judicious in how I use zooms/pans/eases in the two videos I'm working on. What made her review so wonderful is that she didn't just focus on the fact that I'm "struggling, always struggling" but actually said I've done a few things right.
Despite all the remarks on my "potential," I was always felt like an accepted part of the crowd because you guys always paid attention to my outlandish ideas. You've always respected me for being out there rather marking me as an outsider yet again. After seeing the way my previous two posts have been shredded, I don't feel like I have even that. So maybe you think I'm a looney for saying fanvid awards should be more like the Emmys. That doesn't mean you had to dismiss-ridicule-bully me among yourselves [I have kept up with the discussions on your sites] just because I'm that much a weirdo.
I'm going on hiatus.
New Affiliate
Welcome Destiny and new awards site!
So, frankly, I'm amused by most of the responses to my previous post. The thesis and main body of my post went ignored ["I do think judges are quite suspectible of forming notions and sticking to them. And, they stick to that first impression."] while my effects and vidding program remark was rushed upon as though I had written a theory on that. Nobody responded back with a convincing, compelling thesis as to why the same handful of people always deserve to win the top prizes every single time they submit. Nope, instead the same old, so-threadbare-it-has-holes-in-it reasoning was brought up. If you are going to defend predictability and elitism, at least give me a compelling, original new theory to back yourselves up. [Heck, even the Emmys Award voters acknowledged they're snobs and that it's stupid to always award the same people/shows year after year--and they have made changes to their voting system to ensure that there is more fairness. It's referred to as the Lauren Graham Rule.] The lack of remarks upon my actual thesis only confirms to me that judges are probably have not taken time to step back and examine how they award based on their own preferences and biases. [I had my nasty revelation way back in spring that I was guilty of it. When I decided to open my own award site, I resolved not to do it. Of course, it's a pain in the ass to always have to take a step back and say "do I really want to award this video because it's that prize-worthy or I just want to award it because it's something I would favorite on youtube?" But it is worth it. Since having that revelation, I lost my 'OMG! You are such an amazing editor! I am awe of you!' responses I used to have towards seasoned editors. I don't miss the fangirl feeling either. I've come to appreciate a greater variety in editing and I look for quirky individuality rather than mainstream polish. Of course, I still love the mainstream polished editing styles but I don't think it should be treated as the be-all and-end-all of editing.]
"What's with all the red?"
"I don't see any red except on the headers where it belongs..." When I updated yesterday, I did something wrong and it turned everything on the updates red. Everything. So I went into my updates and took out a few things to try and fix it but when I checked the page again, it was still all red. I guess I fixed it because it's not dripping red everywhere. :DI collected two new awards but I'll add them later since I'm updating the entries. I'm swiftly coming to a conclusion when it comes to my awards site: I hope I'm unpredictable and off-kilter. I really, really hope it. I always want to catch you off guard and keep you surprised by my selections. Too many other awards are becoming reliably, boringly predictable in who and what they are awarding. I'm not blessed with second sight but I'm doing a splendidly fine job looking at the entries on several sites and being able to predict who is going to get what awards. Including what I'll get. It always comes back to effects and vidding programs. Not to mention, I do think judges are quite suspectible of forming notions and sticking to them. And, they stick to that first impression. Several judges have told me "you have so much potential!!!!" [even though I'm 40 videos in, I'm still a complete novice apparently] and I've noticed they award me based on that notion. Other vidder who are thought of as "polished" always get the big sweeps, even though it is not always deserved.
Yes, I am one of those folks who bitches every year at the Academy and Emmy Awards for being so *amazingly* predictable, so naturally, when I notice the same trend happening at fanvid award sites, when I can start to easily predict what the judges on various fanvids sites are going to favor, you know I'm going to bring it up. I promise you as a judge I won't stick to to any notions about you. Although I make it a point to become familiar with your editing styles, I will always trust that your vidding journey is evolving. Like I said in "The Judge," while I have my preferences and biases, I hope you'll never be able to figure them out. And I mean that. If the day arrives where you can easily predict what I'll award based on my preferences being THAT obvious, I'd rather shut down my awards site than continue it. I truly hope that day never comes. [Some of you judges are dear friends, but seriously, your biases and preferences are THIS bloody transparent. And. You. Don't. Even. Realize. It. At all.] And, yes, I like that the Independent Spirit Awards exists to ensure that films that get overlooked at the Oscars are awarded. I hope my site fulfills the same purpose in the vidding community. In the very least, if I shake things up and force people to turn off their auto-robotic way of meriting out awards once in awhile [well, it's been known to happen at the Oscars], then I'll be happy. BTW: I can complain about this on my updates page because I intend to allow people to hold me accountable. [Cough a future codeword question Cough. It's only rd 2 so not next round but a few rounds from now. But you will get the chance to observe if I'm staying true to my aesthetics.]
Yes, dears, I realize I haven't the slightest clue what I'm taking about since I've only got potential, not experience, and therefore I'm not wise and knowledged at all. But when I've got vidding experience [based on the numbers of times I've been told I have potential x the number of videos I have already, that will be about 1,000,000 videos from now], I hope to goodness I never get so smug and stuck in a judging groove that you can easily guess what you'll be able to win or not. Besides, if I only have potential, it can only mean I won't get stuck in a groove, since it means I'm not polished, never good enough, always lagging far far behind. So, thankfully, for you, I'll likely be unpredictable for a little while. [Beware when I cross the 1,000,000 video mark though! I'll have experience then!!]
Wow! 3 New Awards
Ack. I'm still getting used to this new coding. Sorry for all the bright red.For my "Anne Can't Let Go" video. I'm satisfied with the reviews too. They're fair enough.
There were some really neat things in this video. You used effects well to differentiate past, present, dreams. I also really liked the shot of Anne playing the piano and how it matched the piano in the song -- brilliant. I completely followed your POV and thought you did a fantastic job capturing Anne's turmoil. You did a nice job of adding voice-overs to explain your AU, but unfortunately, the VOs at the end were lost in the music. Also, and this is probably a personal preference thing, I found the zooms a little distracting. They worked in some places, cutting from memory to present, but overall, it felt like too many.
You showed the story brilliantly. I know the aspect ratio stuff probably couldn't be helped but I thought that was distracting (I always think its distracting I hate it when it distracts me). After awhile I looked past that and watched the video again. This time I could capture the whole outpouring of Anne. I was rooting for her during the whole thing! Poor Anne.
Installing new layout
The site will be experiencing some hiccups as I install the new layout. I have already noticed that the page "pops out" when it clicked on. I'm working on getting it fixed. I'm halfway done installing it. If you submit and run into any problems, leave me a tag. All the pages should be accessible though.Please read
I don't know why you guys are taking your precious time getting entries in. It might be because of the codeword question, but if you recall from my updates, the ones you guys love to read so much, I told you I'd go easy on you while you adjust. The question might not be easiest, but as long as you try to answer it, you won't get disqualified. I'm closing round 2 November 1. It says in the rules that there is week for submissions to get your entries in. I've decided I'm going to to stick to that. But, you say, I might not have anywhere near approximately 20 entries to judge when I close it. The key word is "approximately." Ideally, I would like 20 each round, but if I still have only 7 entries by November 1, then 7 entries I'll judge. The deadline won't be extended since I've given you more than 2 weeks to submit. This sentiment goes for future rounds as well.To be Obsessed with the Olden Times
Since some of you guys are cough dragging your feet cough, I'd thought I'd entertain --or bore-- you while you make up your minds about what to submit. I'd been pondering lately why I'm so love historical movies, historical times, times other than now. It's not like it was better back then. It wasn't. If you were of the upper classes, I suppose you had it okay, but everybody else--not so much. As a woman, I am quite grateful I am no one's property, that I can keep the money I make and that I can wear clothes that allow me to move--rather than constrict me. And, that I can do what I want with no expectations that my life's goal should be to marry. Imagine having to defy that. Jane Austen certainly isn't given enough credit for going against the grain and doing what she wanted as opposed to what she was expected to do. [While I am guilty of making videos celebrating the Tom Lefroy romance, I don't consider Tom Lefroy to be the end-all-and-be-all of her life. Contrary to the movie, she didn't need him to inspire her. Any introduction to her work makes clear she was a well read, independent thinker on her own merits.] This is drifting off into a rant so to bring back to the ramble, I have realized I love the past because I like to know how we evolved. It's fascinating how people thought back then--to find the similiarities and the differences. While I don't romanticize the past, I do appreciate knowing how far we've come. And how far we've yet to go.New affililate + new layout/coding coming + codeword question
A new, but old, affie! Amy, of A Delicate Flower Video Awards and Ever Dream Designs, has opened a personal site. It's as lovely and as addicting as her other two sites are. Go visit it here:
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For those of you who haven't submitted, I'll probably be getting my new layout and coding very soon. I'm almost certain the coding for my November layout will be dissimiliar to the previous few codings I've had. So, if you are holding off submitting for whatever reason, I would sorely advise you not to. You know you have browse my site for your answer--and if you're aren't familiar with it now, you'll likely be even more thrown off by the new coding.
Speaking of the codeword answer, you guys are freaking out way more than you should. You know how last round I asked you your likes/dislikes about my site? It is just like that: an opinion. Except, now I'm asking you for a concrete example that shows you understand my judging style. I ask you to browse the "& Peonies" section to find your example to back your opinion. The only way you would get disqualified would be if you submitted an answer that uses an example from the "wild roses awards" section.
Here's one of the answers I got to give you an example: "On your Fanvids page you ask everyone to freely critique if they feel they should. I think that's why you freely give constructive critique too along with the awards. It's important that we vidders don't just go around patting each other's backs saying how good we are at vidding. It's important that we try to keep improving. I appreciate constructive critique(I'd like hear your opinion by seeing which vid you'd like more) and you do to, that's what your awards and reviews are based on, IMO, on improving!"
Off to finish judging my youtube contest
Which I've sorely been neglecting. Sorely! Really, I'm quite bad! Anyway, I'm thinking I must have scared off everyone with my round 2 question. It's really quite like the round 1 question--you provide an opinion. Albeit this time you also add an example. I asked it because I want to make sure people fully understand where I'm coming from as a judge. And if you don't, you can say that too.Since I'm not finished judging, I'm going to be horrible at keeping up with your new videos. I'll keep visiting your sites though [and I'll be leaving tags too. I know I've been slacking]. Edited to add: I keep finding damn grammar errors in the reviews. Ugh. Despite looking over them constantly, I never catch all my mistakes.
That is NOT me on youtube
So sometime overnight, a person(s) has decided to cause a great ruckus on youtube and pretend to be me. The channel is now closed but I'm sure whoever s/he is, the merriment is far from finished. The imposter went by the name FelicityKings. Note the S on the end. That is NOT me!!!! While I don't deny I can get pissy on youtube, I always leave my pissiness to my bulletins. I never would go to your channels and leave such inane comments harassing you on your religion, your videos, or god knows what else this person has said. [Thank you BlueSalad for alerting me.]I have set my friends, subs and subscription lists to private. However, I don't know how long this person has been monitoring to be able to target people so s/he might already have your names.
Also, a user called "MrGeorgiaTech" you should keep a lookout for. I've blocked him but he seemed to be targetting all fanvidders because he believes we're breaking copyright laws. He sent me a private message and has left a comment on one of my friends channels. Here's his channel so you can block him: http://www.youtube.com/user/MrGeorgiaTech
A new fanvid....FINALLY!
Go here to watch it on youtube: Princess Bride Opening Credits
A letter:
You could never have written The Moral of the Rose here. Wild roses won't grow in city streets. And your story is like a wild
rose, dear, all sweetness and unexpectedness with sly little thorns of wit and satire. It's not just story-telling.
Miss Royal to Emily
Byrd Starr, Emily's Quest
from:
Owner: FelicityKing
Host: Webs.com
Site Opened: June 2009
Layout&Coding by: Lizzie
Version 5: Sabrina
Best Viewed In: Firefox
wild roses:
rd 2: open [UNTIL NOV 1]AWARDS
BEST OF THE BEST
& peonies:
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